北美留学申请核心竞争力报告


范例-5


 (本文申请者该人民大学附中国际班高三学生,申请UPENN大学的Undergraduate Program in Business, Mass Media & Entrepreneurship,其母亲为人大的博士导师)

UPenn Essay-2: Ben Franklin once said, 'All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move.' Which are you?

 

“In less than five or six minutes, your dream will come true.” I murmured to myself, heading toward the post office whose sight around the corner was blurred only by huge snowflakes smashing into my face. In the Northern city of Beijing, it snows heavily, especially in the Christmas week. Trudging along in deep snow and clutching tight the money inside my pocket, I felt my hearted pounding with excitement, every step bringing me ever closer to the dream.

 

70,000RMB, equivalent to 11,000 US dollars, never before in my life had I ever laid my hands on such a huge sum of money! It was the hard-earned money of the 3-month online charity sale by our “Dream Come True” team. I initiated the fundraising project not long after I was elected vice president of the Student Union of my senior high school, responsible for organizing charity and volunteers activities. In the process, I came to read a touching story about Sun Xuguang, a top Chinese gymnast who, having won national championship, trained hard in order to secure an international championship. But excessive training resulted in a series of irremediable injuries which forced him to retire. Even in dire poverty, he still cherished the dream of becoming a gymnastics coach to produce future talents who could succeed where he had failed.

 

Having remitted money to Sun, my teammates and I relished in our achievement. But our joy did not last long. As London Olympics approached, we kept reading tragic stories—the long-distance runner Guo Ping having two feet severely deformed and suing her former coach, and another gymnast Zhang Shangbin begging by performing his former championship winning stunts and selling his gold medals. Tears would well up in my eyes whenever I read and watched those and many other stories, not only about athletes, but also about other talented people with unfulfilled dreams.


I searched and researched desperately to find a solution. Our fundraising ability being limited, we obviously could not help many or help them long because money is only a temporary solution to the distressed livelihood. We needed a massive and long-term program. For months, I was obsessed with the big question mark “How?”, bitterly cudgeling up my mind, until I came across Tyra Banks’ “American Next Top Model”. An epiphany flashed across my mind.

 

“Dear Tyra Banks, I am a big fan of your show. It doesn’t matter that you don’t know me; the most important thing is that I know you and love your show. I’m no ordinary fan of yours, but one with a big idea and a big plan.”

 

It is the same Christmas week here in Beijing, snowing heavily as usual. Once again, I headed toward the post office, my eyes blurred and snow as deep. This year, instead of the cash, I was carrying my “Dream Come True” Business Proposal, to be sent to my American idol, Tyra Banks.

 

“In less than five to six years, I expect to establish my ‘Dream Come True’ studio, which will strictly emulate your show’s guiding principle—that the winners are not to be picked in accordance with the conventional criteria. That’s why I so appreciate your way of selecting the next top model—with your open norms of beauty and the value of diversity, people with their distinctive qualities, life experiences and aspirations, whether short or tall, fat or thin, pretty or plain, would have the chance to win and succeed, especially those from the unprivileged classes of society.

 

My plan is to stage a similar show, ‘Dream Come True Talent Show’ you might call it, committed to picking the talents from people of unfulfilled dreams, like Sun Xue, Guo, and Zhang whom I have described in the opening chapter of my Proposal. My show will be oriented toward those individuals who have a great story and real ambitions, yet unwilling to succumb to mediocrity and destiny, so that by distinguishing themselves through my show they will find their proper places in the society and have normal human life with decent dignity like everybody else. “

 

I put my 100-page proposal addressed to Tyra Banks into the postbox outside the post office, feeling that this time I am really getting close to my dream. For nearly one year, I have been studying every detail in each of Tyra Banks shows and designing my own show, assimilating useful features from Tyra Banks’ show and also introducing innovative features of my own. In the process, I have developed my own career plan—to create my own studio, become a TV hostess like Tyra Banks, and run a program as successful as “American Next Top Model”. This will be my unswerving purpose which I will pursue single-mindedly.

 

“Dear Tyra, to translate my dream into reality, I am now applying for UPenn where I want to study mass media, communication and entrepreneurship. During vacations, I expect to join your team as an intern and learn how the entire show is operated. Meanwhile, I will be looking forward to discussing my Proposal with you and learning of your suggestions for improvement.

 

Dear Tyra, if you have read my stories about Sun, Guo and Zhang, you won’t fail to be impressed that they represent the people who truly deserve a chance. And to imagine that there are 1.3 billion people in China, don’t you think that there should be someone who will act and act now?                 Yangyang XXX

                  a person who takes the move ”

Ben Franklin曾经说过,“全体人类可分成三大类别,其一是不动者,其二是可动者,其三是动者。”请问,你属于其中哪一类人?

 

  “要不了五、六分钟,你就将梦想成真。”我轻声自语道,朝着马路拐角处的邮局走去,扑面而来的大片大片的雪花,将邮局的轮廓弄得模糊不清。在北京这座北方城市,冬天大雪飞舞乃家常便饭,尤其是在圣诞节的这一周。深一脚浅一脚地踏步在深雪中,一只手紧拽着口袋里的现金,我只觉得我的心因为激动在胸中砰砰作响,每走近邮局一步,便向着心中的梦想更趋近一步。

 

  七万元人民币,相当于一万多美元,我这辈子还从不曾碰过数额如此之巨的一笔钱。这是我们“梦想成真”团队全体成员三个月来网上义卖辛苦赚来的钱啊!在我目前所就读的高中,我在被推举为学生会负责公益与志愿者活动的副主席后不久,就启动了一项义卖筹款项目。在此过程中,我们碰巧了解到一则关于孙旭光的令人动容的故事。孙是中国一位顶尖的体操运动员,在赢得全国冠军后,努力训练,向着世界冠军发起冲击。但高强度的训练导致他身上出现多处无可逆转的伤病,迫使他退役。即便在令人唏嘘的贫困境地,他仍心怀梦想,要成为体操教练,培养未来的体操人才,去完成他未竟的事业。

 

  给孙旭光汇完钱,我和团队成员们陶醉在成功的喜悦中。可我们的欢乐并未维持多久。随着伦敦奥运会的邻近,我们一次又一次读到一些悲惨事例—长跑运动员郭萍由于不科学的训练而双脚严重畸形,以致于要与其前教练对簿公堂;还有另一位体操运动员张尚斌,则沦为乞丐,在街头卖艺,表演那些曾经给他带来冠军头衔的高难度体操花样,并且出卖冠军奖牌。每当读到或看到这些以及其他许多令人心酸的故事时,我总会泪如涌泉,所挂念着的,不仅仅是这些运动员,而且,还有其他许多壮志未酬、梦想尚未成真的人们。


  我近乎疯狂地寻找各种信息,进行研究,以求找到一种解决之道。由于我们筹款能力有限,如果采用常规方式,显然不是长久之计,因为捐钱只是其窘迫生计的一个暂时性解决方法。我们所需要的。 是一种大规模和长期性的项目。整整几个月中,我内心一直纠结于一个巨大的问号——“怎么办?”。我绞尽脑汁,直到碰巧观赏到Tyra Banks主持的《全美超模新秀大赛》真人秀节目。一种灵感之光在我头脑中顿现,令我豁然开朗。

 

  “亲爱的Tyra Banks,我是你真人秀节目的大粉丝。你不认识我,这无关紧要,关键是,只要我认识你、喜爱你节目就行。但我并非是您一般的粉丝,而是一个有着庞大构法和庞大计划的粉丝。”

这是北京迎来的又一个圣诞季,像往年一样,依然是大雪纷飞。我又一次朝着邮局走去,视线被漫天飞舞的雪花弄得模糊不清,大雪还是深至膝盖。今年,我怀揣着的不再是一大把现金,而是厚厚一本“梦想成真”企划书,要寄给我的美国偶像,Tyra Banks。

 

  “要不了五、六年,我期待能创立我的‘梦想成真’达人秀工作室,严格仿效您节目的宗旨——优胜者将绝不按照常规的标准来评定。这就是为什么我那么欣赏你们节目组选择超模新秀的那种方法——依据开放的审美标准,以及多元化的价值观,那些有着独特人格魅力、人生经历以及理想抱负的人们,无论他们身材高矮、体型肥瘦,相貌美丑,都有机会胜出并取得成功,尤其是那些来自社会底层的弱势人群。

 

  我的计划是举办一个类似的秀场,你喜欢的话,可以称之为‘梦想成真达人秀’,致力于从那些有着未竟梦想的人们中间选取达人,诸如我在企划书第一章节中所描述的类似于孙、郭和张这样的人。我的真人秀将面向那些有着动人故事和远大志向、但却不甘平庸、屈服命运的人们。这样,他们通过在我的真人秀平台上脱颖而出,就能在社会上找到其应有的位置,和常人一样,能过上体面而有尊严的常态生活。”

 

  我将厚达百页、指定由Tyra Banks签收的企划书投进邮局外的邮筒里,心里直觉得,这一次我离我的梦想真得是那么的近。在近一年的时间里,我不断研究Tyra Banks所有选秀节目的每个细节,设计我自己的选秀节目,借鉴Tyra Banks节目中有用的桥段,同时也融入我自己的原创情节。在此过程中,我自己的职业规划也初步成形——创立我自己的工作室,成为一个像Tyra Banks那样的电视主持人,运作着像《全美超模新秀大赛》那样成功的电视节目。我将对这一目标矢志不渝,心无旁涉,直至成功。

 

  “亲爱的Tyra,为了使我自己的梦想成真,我现在正在申请进入州大学攻读本科,学习大众传媒、传播学以及创业学。寒假与暑假期间,我盼望能加入你们的节目组,进行实习,学习整个节目是如何运作的。同时,我也期待着能与您讨论我的企划书,听取您的意见,以求改进。

 

  亲爱的Tyra ,倘若你读了我所描述的有关孙、郭和张的故事,你肯定会留下深刻的印象,即他们代表着真正需要获得一个机会的那类群体。试想,在有着十三亿人口的中国,你不认为需要有一个人能行动起来为他们做些什么,并且是立刻地行动起来吗?

 

                   Yangyang XXX

                  一个起而行动的人”

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