9-1:缘起

　　上个世纪九十年代初，我便与现在的新东方教育科技集团的创始人俞敏洪先生一起在北京中关村地区为广大考生提供TOEFL、GRE等方面的培训。由于TOEFL班中需要讲解作文，而培训部又缺乏这方面的资料，俞先生便嘱我准备些辅导资料。当时我恰好参加过一次TOEFL考试，便凭着记忆将自己当时在考场里写下的作文重新记录下来，呈给俞先生。这样，我的这篇作文成为了学生的第一篇范文。在此后的十余年间，这篇文章一直在新东方学生中广为流传。

　　在我收到的成绩通知书中，这篇文章轻而易举地获得了满分。在今天看来，虽然作文的题目属于TOEFL的范畴，但文章本身若用GRE的Issue类作文的标准来衡量也不失为一篇精心组织、文字老练的好文章。更重要的是，我当时在写作这篇文章时，对文章结构、内容、语言、修辞、句法等方面所作的设计，当时一整套的写作心理活动，我想通过这篇文章在判官身上所要产生的效果，对于现在的考生来说，依然都是可资借鉴的。

　　参加这次考试，我的目的性很明确，就是冲着拿满分这一目标而去的。尤其是在作文这一部分，我要“炫耀”我的词汇量，“卖弄”我驾御英文长句、难句的能力，“展示”自己的知识面，“编织”一个滴水不漏的结构，从而达到impress乃至overwhelm判官的目的，迫使他/她不得不给我满分。

9-2：全文如下

Topic:

People should never be satisfied with what they have. They should always want something new and something
different. Do you agree or disagree? Use your own reasons and specific examples to support your argument.

That people should never be satisfied with what they have and should always strive for something new and different seems to be a propensity inherent in human nature. We have all read in Jane Austin’s Pride and Prejudice that “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a large fortune must be in want of a wife.” This only testifies to one aspect, which is also a necessary condition, of human existence.

On the most abstract level, the spirit of dissatisfaction constitutes the very force that has propelled human civilization forward in the course of human history. Stimulated by the thirst for knowledge from within and challenged by the harshness of the environment from without, man has evolved triumphantly from the most primitive to the most advanced and sophisticated. If it had contented our pristine ancestors to dwell in caves or to lead their nomadic life, they would have remained some mere vagabond creatures, lurking in the unfriendly forests and in the hostile wilderness, forever on the alert so as not to fall prey to some ferocious predators. Consequently we can safely conclude that it is precisely man’s inquiring mind and his aspiring nature that distinguish himself from other animals.

In the modern world, this insatiable desire on the part of mankind has given rise to the most spectacular development of science and technology. We know that, with all the material wealth we have accumulated, we can live a passable, even a well-to-do life. However, we are also fully aware that life of this kind is not the best. Therefore, we travel into the unknown depths of the universe to explore its mysteries and we undertake perilous expeditions to the South Pole under the hope of discovering alternative energy sources to compensate for those which we already have, but which are depleting at an alarming rate. Every single advance in science and technology is invariably the result of man’s incessant quest for the new, the different and the better.

Finally, the turn of the century has witnessed a sustained proliferation of “isms”, both in arts and in literature, such as Impressionism, Expressionism, Symbolism, Cubism, Fauvism, Surrealism, Structuralism and the like. Why? The reason is simple. This flourishing is a direct response to people’s discontent with hackneyed and stereotyped modes of expression whose expressiveness has been worn away by centuries of overuse. Appreciating classical masterpieces only, say, Mona Lisa by Da Vinci, is a dull job. By contrast, Picasso the cubist has expressed a profound truth in Guernica with a refreshingly avant-garde freshness and originality. The existing conditions are always being transcended by the new and the different.

Admittedly, there are possible exceptions to this general rule of dissatisfaction. An ancient Chinese saying that “those who constantly feel satisfied tend to be happy” is quite illustrative in this respect. But I would rather interpret this as implying that people’s sense of happiness and satisfaction results from what they have achieved, including what is new and what is different. After all, human beings are by no means the jackdaw in Aesop’s fable who could afford to indulge complacently but vainly in singing and dancing without knowing where his next meal would come from. （536 words）

9-3: 审题

　　本文的焦点在于，是否应该知足常乐、固步自封，还是应该勇于进取，不断创新。这是一个似乎不应该有争议的题目，估计95%以上的考生都会选择支持“People should never be satisfied with what they have. They should always want something new and something different”这一命题。于是，我不假思索，无需草拟任何写作提纲，按照“第一段开宗明义亮出自己论点，最后一段推陈出新地进行归纳总结，中间三段层次清晰地展开阐述”的原则，提笔便写。

9-4: 逐段分析

第一段：明确地表明对题目的支持态度并发表一通一般性议论。

　第一句：“That people should never be satisfied with what they have and should always strive for something new and different seems to be a propensity inherent in human nature.” 这一句一方面通过复述题目表示对所含命题的支持，另一方面通过使用一个较长的主语从句的结构在全文开头就给人造成某种震撼效果。其中，“people should never be satisfied with what they have”是从题目中照搬照抄下来的，为的是使判官清晰无误地知道我是在点题。但接下来如果继续将题目中“They should always want something new and something different”照搬照抄的话，则会给人以平庸之嫌疑，所以我就用了“should always strive for something new and different”对其作一番改头换面，让判官开始觉得作者正在提供他自己的理解。在词汇方面，用了“strive for”而避免了常用的“fight for”，此外，还用了较高级的词汇”propensity”（“倾向”）和词组”inherent in”（“在…中所固有的或内在的”）。

　　第二句：“We have all read in Jane Austin’s Pride and Prejudice that ‘It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a large fortune must be in want of a wife.’” 本句通过引经据典旋即为上一句所提出的立论提供支持。恰当地援引名人名言总能给我们的文章平添额外的份量。这里，能信手拈来、一字不漏地精确引用英语经典名著《傲慢与偏见》中的原句，无疑会维持某种震撼效果。

　　第三句：“This only testifies to one aspect, which is also a necessary condition, of human existence。” 本句起到承上启下的作用。“一位腰缠万贯的单身男人必欲迎娶一位娇妻”所涉及的主题仅停留在世俗和现实生活的层面上，虽然具有根本的意义，但仅是人类生存的一个侧面。“only”一词暗示出文章的主体将探讨题目所包含的命题在人类生活其他层面上的广泛含义（implications）。

　　第二段：总论人类文明由低级往高级演变发展的过程与题目所包含的命题相关。由于是涉及全人类的文明而非个别国家或民族的文明，是一种带有普遍性的情形，故用了”on the most abstract level”这一说法。

　　第一句：“the spirit of dissatisfaction constitutes the very force that has propelled　human 　civilization forward in the course of human history.” 此句无疑是整段的主题句。鉴于出色的写作在表达同一概念时都应变换表达方式，故上一段中“people should never be satisfied with what they have”在这里已变成了一个名词短语“the spirit of dissatisfaction”，本句在词汇、词组方面用了“constitute”，“propel”，“in the course of …”等，在修辞方面则用“very”来修饰名词“force”，以起到强调作用。

　　第二句：“Stimulated by the thirst for knowledge from within and challenged by the harshness of the environment from without, man has evolved triumphantly from the most primitive to the most advanced and sophisticated.”本句当然是为上面主题句的立论通过正面的论述提供支持，人类的进化与文明的进步无疑是一个由旧至新、由原始至复杂的变化过程。本句在句法上首先是在以“Stimulated by…”引导的过去分词短语的结构中使用了极为对称的排比句式：“stimulated by…”对应于“challenged by…”，“the thirst for knowledge”对应于”the harshness of environment”，“from within”对应于“from without”。尤其是表示“来自内部”和“来自外部”的“from within”和“from without”是两个不太被人常用但却十分典雅的表达方式，会给人以一种不凡的感觉。主句中“the most primitive”和“the most advanced and sophisticated”在修辞上是“定冠词＋形容词＝名词”的一种较讲究的用法。

　　第三句：“If it had contented our pristine ancestors to dwell in caves or to lead their nomadic life, they would have remained some mere vagabond creatures, lurking in the unfriendly forests and in the hostile wilderness, forever on the alert so as not to fall prey to some ferocious predators.”本句用虚拟语气从反面来论证主题句中所表达的立论。本句最大的特点是抒情色彩比较浓，目的是以情动人。在语言上， 用了“it contents sb. to do sth. …”的句式；在句法上，主句后面跟着一气呵成的两个短语结构，分别为“lurking…”和介词结构“on the alert…”。在词汇上，”pristine”, “dwell”, “nomadic”, “mere”, “vagabond”, “lurk”, “predator”都是较有份量的词汇。而词组”on the alert”, “so as (not) to…”和”fall prey to… “均甚有讲究。

　　第四句：“Consequently we can safely conclude that it is precisely man’s inquiring mind and his aspiring nature that distinguish himself from other animals.”在正反两方面的阐述完成之后，表示因果关系的”Consequently”一词自然地导入一个句结论性的句子。“We can safely conclude…”在语气上显得婉转与中庸，避免了逻辑推理之大忌的极端化和绝对化。句法上则采用了“it is…that…”的强调句型，“inquiring mind”和“aspiring nature”均是较高级别的表达方式。此外，还用了“distinguish… from… ”这样一个词组。

　　第三段：将时间由远古拉近至现当代，将对整个人类文明的论述逐渐聚焦于人类文明的具体一个部分——科技的、物质的、世俗的、现实生活的层面。

　　第一句：“In the modern world, this insatiable desire on the part of mankind has given rise to the most spectacular development of science and technology.” 首先用这一句铺设好一个主题句，本句用“give rise to…”在人类的不满足精神与科技的发展之间建立起一种因果关系。需要注意的是，在表示人类永不满足于现状这一主题时，本句中又变换了一个名词短语，即”insatiable desire”。另外，词组“on the part of… ”也会读上去略显典雅。

　　第二与第三句：“We know that, with all the material wealth we have accumulated, we can live a passable, even a well-to-do life. However, we are also fully aware that life of this kind is not the best.”这两句在进行阐述，并且在不知不觉间对主题进行深化，将人类对新的和不同事物的追求提高到对更美好的事物的追求上。

　第四句：“Therefore, we travel into the unknown depths of the universe to explore its mysteries and we undertake perilous expeditions to the South Pole under the hope of discovering alternative energy sources to compensate for those which we already have, but which are depleting at an alarming rate.”本句通过列举人类进入太空以及从事极地科考的例子来进行例证（illustration）。这里，“travel into the unknown depths of the universe to explore its mysteries” 具有较强的抒情色彩。本句较高级别的词汇有”undertake”，”perilous”，”expedition”，”alternative”，”compensate（for）”，”deplete”等，词组有“under the hope of…” 和 ”at an alarming rate”。句末还用了两个定语从句对同一个先行词进行了修饰。

　　第五句：“Every single advance in science and technology is invariably the result of man’s incessant quest for the new, the different and the better.” 本句是一结论性句子，进一步强调（every single advance）主题句中的因果关系，将新的和不同的事物等同于更美好的事物。“invariably”，“…is the result of… ”，“man’s incessant quest for…”都是精心选择的词汇、词组。

　　第四段：通过探讨人类文明的另一个重要组成部分——文学与艺术，从而论证人类在精神层面上，一如在物质层面上那样，不断革新，不断求索。

　　第一句：“Finally, the turn of the century has witnessed a sustained proliferation of ‘isms’, both in arts and in literature, such as Impressionism, Expressionism, Symbolism, Cubism, Fauvism, Surrealism, Structuralism and the like.”与第二、第三段在开头就给出主题句的做法不同，本段为了追求变化，首先在第一句中列举了一种现象。句中的动词”witness”是一种妙用，它与“see”或“experience”可互换。”sustained proliferation”是个较高层级的短语。

　　第二句：“Why? The reason is simple.”这里，通过自问自答的方式，意欲在接下来的句子中引出主题。这一问一答的句子是全文中最令人得意的地方。纵观全文，通篇都是复合句和长句的句式，只有在这里出现了极为简短和简单的句式，在全文formal得略带凝重的气氛中透现出些许活泼。这是为了能让判官觉得文章作者既可以连篇累牍地写出长句与难句，也能写出简洁的、非正式的句子。

　　第三句：“This flourishing is a direct response to people’s discontent with hackneyed and stereotyped modes of expression whose expressiveness has been worn away by centuries of overuse.”这是在上文铺垫之后得出的主题。“…be a response to…”用以指出文艺领域中新流派和新思潮的层出不穷，是由于人们对旧事物的不满而造成的。”flourishing”是”proliferation”的同义词，”discontent”是在第二段“the spirit of dissatisfaction”和“insatiable desire”基础上变换出的又一种含义相近的表达法。句中“hackneyed and stereotyped modes of expression”表示旧事物。

　　第四与第五句：“Appreciating classical masterpieces only, say, Mona Lisa by Da Vinci, is a dull job. By contrast, Picasso the cubist has expressed a profound truth in Guernica with a refreshingly avant-garde freshness and originality.”这两句的作用在于例证（illustration），举出了正、反两方面的例子。这里，“classical masterpieces”代表着文艺中的旧事物，“refreshingly avant-garde freshness and originality”代表着新事物。

　　第六句：“The existing conditions are always being transcended by the new and the different.”本句是从上文的实例中得出的结论，指出在文艺领域的创作实践中新老交替是不可逆转的一个规律。

　　第五段（结束段）：由于迄今为止，全文对题目所包含的命题给予了全面的支持，没能考虑这一命题的反面情形，从而似显片面，有失公允，故最后一段作出让步，以求平衡和综合，在语气上避免绝对化。但文章最终还是返回全文的主要命题。

　　第一句：“Admittedly, there are possible exceptions to this general rule of dissatisfaction.”副词admittedly表示出显著的让步色彩，主句是对英文习语“there is always an exception to a rule”（“任何规则均有例外”）的改写。

　　第二句：“An ancient Chinese saying that ‘those who constantly feel satisfied tend to be happy’　is quite illustrative in this respect.”本句引用东方文化中的中国谚语“知足常乐”作为上一句中让步主题的例证，“be illustrative of…”可明示这一点。

But I would rather interpret this as implying that people’s sense of happiness and satisfaction results from what they have achieved, including what is new and what is different.”毕竟，这个让步的主题只是短暂的。本句对“知足常乐”的含义进行了引申和扩展，最终还是将一种有可能的特殊情形纳入到本文命题所涵盖的框架内，进而对该命题又最终进行了强调。

After all, human beings are by no means the jackdaw in Aesop’s fable who could afford to indulge complacently but vainly in singing and dancing without knowing where his next meal would come from.”最后，再次引经据典，提供例证，从反面来论述全文主题。

9-5: 自我评价

　　全文结构清晰，段与段之间衔接流畅自然，每一段内容层次分明，层层递进，对每个主题的阐述透彻充分，既有抽象的论述，又有较多的具体例证。既有对人类文明的整体论述，又有对其物质与精神两个具体层面的阐发。论述的时间跨度由古及今，所列举的例子在空间范围上中外兼而有之，但以评阅人所熟悉的西方文化中科技与文艺领域的实例居多，以减少文化隔阂。全文以复合句和长句居多，各种句式复杂多变，风格正式，全文536个词汇中约有100个左右较高级的词汇，还有一批同样不太常用的词组。全文行文流畅，语句通顺，标点规范，拼写正确。

9-6：为了便于理解，附本文的中文参考译文如下

　　人们应该永不满足于他们业已拥有的一切，并应该永远去追求新异之物，这似乎是人类本性中所固有的一个倾向。我们在简?奥斯丁的《傲慢与偏见》一书中都读到过这样一句话，“这是一个举世公认的真理，即一个腰缠万贯的单身男人必欲迎取一位娇妻。”这仅仅只例示着人类生存的一个侧面，亦即人类生存中的一种必要境况。

　　在最为抽象的层面上，永不满足的精神构成了推动人类文明在整个人类历史长河中前进的力量所在。出于对知识渴求的内在激励，以及恶劣环境的外在挑战，人类成功地完成了其进化，由最原始的状态嬗变至最高级的和最尖端的境界。倘若我们的原始祖先满足于栖息于洞穴之中，或过一种游牧的生活，他们终将只能成为某些到处飘零、浪迹天涯的生物体，出没于险象丛生的森林或满是敌意的荒野，永远提心吊胆，处处设防，惟恐成为某些食人猛兽的牺牲品。因此，我们可以十分有把握地得出结论说，正是人类勇于求索的心灵及其满怀抱负的本性才使人类有别于其他动物。

　　在当今世界，人类身上这种永不满足的欲望引发了科技领域最宏伟壮观的发展。我们知道，人类凭借业已积累起来的物质财富，早就可以过上一种过得去的、甚至是甚为富裕的生活。但是，我们也充分地意识到，这种生活并不是最美好的。因此，我们遨游至宇宙不为人知的深处去探索其奥秘；我们也深入到南极进行危险的远征，以期发现可供替换的能源，来弥补我们业已拥有但却正以惊人速度锐减的那些能源。每项科技进步无一不是对新异之物和更美好之物的不懈求索所致。

　　最后，世纪之交目睹了文艺领域中各种思潮流派持续不断的大量涌现，诸如印象主义，表现主义，象征主义，立体派，野兽派，超现实主义，结构主义等。原因何在？答案十分简单。这种百花齐放的繁荣是对人们的某种不满所做出的反应，人们已不再满足于各种陈腐的、老一套的表达方式，因为它们的表现力由于几个世纪的反复使用而丧失殆尽。要求人们仅仅欣赏古典杰作，比如说达?芬奇的《蒙娜丽莎》，不啻是一桩令人十分乏味的事情。相反，立体派画家毕加索则以一种令人耳目一新的、带有先锋派色彩的清新与原创性在《格尔尼卡》一画中表达了一种深刻的真理。可以说，现存的状况总是在被新异之物所超越。

　　诚然，对于永不满足这一普遍规律而言，总是有可能存在着例外情形。中国古谚云：“知足常乐”。它在这方面是一个最好的例证。但我更愿意对这一古谚作这样的解读，即人们的幸福感与满足感缘起于他们所已取得的成就，包括已经取得了的“新”和“异”的成就。毕竟，人类决不是伊索寓言中的那只寒鸦，可以自满且虚荣地整日沉湎于唱歌跳舞，却全然不知下一餐食物将从何而来。