我有個很出色的哥哥,他的存在讓我做妹妹的覺得很驕傲,同时也讓我承受著巨大的壓力.身邊所有認識我哥哥的人都對他有極高的評價，他已經是很多人的偶像.我哥哥Agen靠自己努力從中國一所普通的高中被University of Pennsylvania錄取， 成為當年中國大陸被該校錄取的幾個幸運兒之一。在大學里, 哥哥并沒有像他大多數同學盲目的追求華爾街的光環；他選擇了自己創業。他的宿舍經常堆滿了一箱箱的貨。為了學習和工作，我哥哥在美國的時間幾乎就在圖書館和他的宿舍度過。盡管他的某些同學笑他不務正業， 他從來都沒有懷疑過自己。黃天不負有心人,他以highest honor從賓大畢業，而且成為了Sandisk Corporation (NASDAQ: SNDK)歷史上最年輕的distributor，22歲就成為了百萬富翁。畢業后他更立志要建立像WalMart和 IBM那樣有行業代表性的公司。對我而言,他所取得的成就是多么使我向往，然而也是我覺得多少的難以超越。

　　一直都非常出色的哥哥使我這個妹妹從小便戴著光環，漸漸地,我成為了哥哥的一個附屬品, 我自己的名字從來都沒有比”Agen的妹妹”更加響亮。他的存在是我便顯得比平凡人更加普通.我的同學總是羨慕我有一個如此聰明的哥哥，而不是覺得我有什么特色；我的親戚們總是督促我向哥哥學習，而不會理會我平時是多么的努力；我甚至覺得如果我家的狗會說話，它會羨慕的跟我說“如果我是你就好了。”他們忽視我默默付出的努力,甚至質疑我努力的成果.我哥哥巨大的影子一直籠罩著我。我很不服氣,拼命地掙扎,我想證明給所有人,我有能力做到他們一樣優秀,甚至更優秀? 後來,我決意來美國就讀大學,目的很簡單,就是要做得像哥哥一樣好。我就是我， 我不想活在別人的影子下面。

　　初來步到,最令我不適應的是要放下光環,從新出發.當離開父母和哥哥,我才真正明白到當我真正遇到困難的時候是多麼不堪一擊! 原來,他們在默默地保護我,讓我一直成長在溫室裡。我的驕傲,是建立在哥哥身上。我,發現我原來是那樣的脆弱。由於人生路不熟,我只好依靠新認識的朋友。然而他們知道我有一個這樣的哥哥后(why your brother is a genius，but you are just a normal.)都喜歡以嘲笑我為樂,他們嘲笑我的無能，我的英語,甚至連外表都被嘲笑得體無完膚。為了生存,我不惜放棄自尊，忽略他们.那時候,我很痛恨自己,恨自己無能,只懂得窩在房間大哭. 有一天,我望著鏡子的自己,對那懦弱自卑的我感到極度厭惡,那失魂落魄的樣子,像走動的尸體一般。 在什麼時候,我竟然捨棄我最值得驕傲的尊嚴.那是一場噩夢,一段我無法原諒自己的往事. 是時候醒了,我不可以再浪費時間,辜負哥哥對我的期望. 終於,我決定擺脫他們,做回自己,無論以後的日子是多麼無助,我也要有尊嚴地活下去。

　　離開了哥哥, 他的精神依然領導著我, 與我並肩作戰. 他的在美留學的傳奇指引著我. 當哥哥因在网上購買電腦被騙去壹千時,他並沒有向家人求助,自己只好簡吃簡穿. 更令我佩服的是,他從教訓裡得到啟發,在网上买卖賺到第一桶金.後來,他執意走創業的路時,他所受到的千斤壓力我現在深深地理會得到.我也要像他一樣,決定不隨波逐流, 尋找自己的道路.從那天開始,我奮發學習,立志轉學，因為我知道在你們學校我可以學到更多的知識， 認識更多高素質的朋友而且更容易使我實現我的夢想。

　　之後的三個月,我不眠不休地學習. 當周遭的朋友知道我有轉校意向時,叛徒二字就強加在我的身上. 受到同伴的唾棄, 而且嘲笑我不要异想天开。 这一切使我在轉學的路上遇到更多的阻力。在孤獨的路上,我背負著沉重的壓力, 我不惜與他們斷絕所有來往. 因為我不能讓自己有半點依靠別人的想法.我一定要靠自己, 就像哥哥一樣.

　　失去了光環,我得到重生.雖然離開安全島, 经常都遇到困難和挑戰,但是我已經什麼也不怕了. 這短短四個月的時間,我已經磨練出堅強的意志. 跌倒了, 我會告訴自己要好好記住有多麼的痛. 痛,讓我痛定思痛,警惕自己要更堅強. 我很感激曾經傷害我的同伴,令我得到真正的成長. 口語不好,我就勇敢地用英語和別人溝通,由一開始的一句問候,到現在簡單的談話,我也在努力當中， 我自信有一天我的口语可以像奥巴马总统一样好. 他們對我的批評,不論惡意與否,都讓我更有動力嘗試,挑戰. 在這裡,我活出自我,其他人願意和我交友,是因為喜歡我的個性. 教授欣賞我,是因為課堂的表現和不懈的努力。

　　来到美国后， ,我上了人生最寶貴的一課, 學懂了'珍惜和拼搏.當身邊的人给我只是冷漠和嘲笑的时候， 我開始懂得珍惜父母哥哥給我的一切. 最後,我感激父母給我的哥哥,他們的出現,使我變得不平凡， 他們成功的故事,激發我無窮的動力.

　　在離開我家乡的時候,我答應爸爸,四年後, 我不会让大家失望。為了這個承諾,我需要站得更高,看得更遠. 那麼,我需要站在哥哥曾經到過的瞭望台. 看到他們的世界,從而找到自己的出口。

　　我,再不是誰人的影子。

I have an elder brother who is very outstanding. His existence has made me very proud for being his younger sister. At the same time, he has exerted considerable pressure on me with his excellence. All the people who know my brother have great admirations for him and he has become an idol for most of them. Through his own efforts, my brother Agen got admitted by the University of Pennsylvania as a student from an ordinary Chinese high school. With this, he became one of a few lucky students on the Chinese mainland who were accepted by this leading ivy university of the United States. During his university life, my brother refused to be dazzled by the halo of the Wall Street as most of his classmates were. He chose to launch his own business. His dormitory was often packed with crates and boxes filled with all kinds of goods. In order to do a great job in his studies and in his work, my brother spend almost all the time in the United States in the library and in his dorm. Although some of his classmates scorned at him as “not doing the right things”, he never lost confidence in himself. His hard efforts paid off—he graduated from UPenn with the highest honor. In addition, he became the youngest distributor in the history of Sandisk Corporation (NASDAQ: SNDK), a millionaire at the age 22. After his graduation, he made up his mind that he would create an industrial giant like Wal Mart and IBM. As far as I am concerned, the achievements he has made are so fascinating, but I also feel that he poses as a challenge so difficult for me to transcend.

With his consistent excellence, my brother put me also under a halo ever since my early childhood. Gradually, I became something affiliated to my brother. People tend to use “Agen’s sister” when addressing me, as if I have not got a proper name myself. His existence made me more ordinary than the ordinary people. My classmates have always admired me for having such a smart brother and they seldom notice anything unique in me. My relatives and friends have always urged me to take my brother as my role model, overlooking all the distinctive efforts that I have made on my own. I even had the feeling that if the dog we kept could speak in the human language, it would also say, in a tone of admiration, “if I were you, how wonderful it would be.” Everybody around me paid no attention whatsoever to the quiet efforts I made on my own; they would even question the value of the achievements I could make. I was totally plunged into the big shadow cast by my brother. I could not bear it. I tried to struggle, to revolt, to prove to everyone that I could be as outstanding as everyone else, if not more outstanding. Later, I was determined to pursue education in the United States too. My goal was quite simple—to be as successful as my elder brother. I am an independent person and I did not want to live in the shadow of someone else.

On arriving in the United States, I came to realize that it was not easy to give up the halo and to make a brand-new journey of my own. Away from my parents and my brother, fully understood how helpless I could be when I ran into difficulties. Indeed, so far, they have been giving me protection in their silent manner, keeping me as if in a greenhouse. All my pride was based on my brother. To my dismay, I found myself so fragile. Plunged into a strange environment, I had to seek help from my new friends. However, when they learned that I have such a superb brother, they would ask why I was so banal while my brother is such a genius. They derived great pleasure from laughing at me. They laughed at my poor English, my poor abilities, and even my appearance. In order to survive, I had to put away my self-pride and to ignore all their scorn. At that time, I could not help hating myself for my incompetence—a person confined to my own room all day, having no alternative but crying. One day, I looked at myself in the mirror, feeling an intense contempt for my cowardice, for my loss of self-respect and the lack of the presence of the mind, acting like a living corpse. “When did you relinquish the dignity that you are most proud of?” I asked myself. That period of life was like a nightmare for me, for which I would never excuse myself. “It is time to wake up and to face reality. You have no time to lose now.” I told myself. I had no right to fail to live up to the expectations of my brother. At last, I decided to get rid of this group of friends and to be true to myself. No matter how difficult life would be in the future, I would live in dignity.

Even though I was away from my brother, he seemed to be with me, side by side, giving me spiritual guidance. His legendary life in the United States was an infinite source of inspiration for me. When my brother was cheated for 1000 dollars when buying a computer on the Internet, he did not ask for money from his family members. Instead, he reduced his expenses to save the money. What was more admirable about him is that he drew important lessons from his experiences. By doing business on the Internet, he made his initial fortune. Later on, when he actually started his own business, he had to face tremendous pressure. Now, I could feel that pressure myself and I told myself that I would do the way he did. I made up my mind that I would follow my own inner voice and blaze my own trail. From that day on, I started to truly commit myself to my study. In addition, I decided to transfer to another university. Your university is precisely the one I wish to transfer to because there I can acquire more knowledge, make friends with truly well-educated people, and fully realize my dream.

In the following three months, I studied hard, sacrificing all my spare time. When my friends learned my intention to transfer, they called me a “traitor”. They abandoned me and laughed at me again as an “over-reacher”. They created many obstacles that made my transfer more difficult. It is a lonely journey and I have been subjected to great pressure. But I have resolved to transfer, even at the expense of breaking up my friendship with all of them. This is because I have the slightest idea of depending on anybody else any longer. I can only rely on myself, just as my brother relied on himself to achieve success.

No longer having the halo, I feel like being reborn. Although I often run into difficulties and challenges once outside the safe haven, I have become afraid of nothing. Over the past four months, I have developed a strong will. It is like when you walk. Falling down to the ground, I told myself to get up on my own and keep in mind how it hurts. The feeling of painfulness only serves to remind me to be strong-willed. Now I am so grateful to my friends whose harm is so helpful to my growing up. Despite my poor oral English, I have the courage to communicate with others in English. At first, I could only give a short greeting. Now, I can carry out simple conversations. I keep on trying and I am sure that one day I could speak as fluently and powerfully as President Obama. The criticisms that my friends have made of me, whether malicious or not, have spurred me to make new tries and to face new challenges. Here, I am back to my true ego. When other people now want to make friends with me, it is because they find my personality pleasant. When professors show their appreciation of me, it is because of my distinguished performance during classroom discussions and my perseverance.

My life in the United States heretofore has taught me a most valuable lesson. I have learned to cherish and to make exertions to reach my goals. When people around me laughed at me and greeted me with their indifference, I know that I should treasure what my parents and my brother have given to me. Finally, I would like to express my sincere gratitude to my parents and my brother. It is they who have made me different. Their success stories will give me infinite inspiration and motivation.

When I first left my hometown, I promised my father that in four years I would live up to their expectation—that I would never let them down. In order to make this promise come true, I need to reach a higher vantage point where I can have a broader vision. Then, let me reach the height that my brother has reached; let me see the world of my parents and of my brother and find out my own starting point.

I am no longer the shadow of anyone else!